Divorce Recovery, Remarriage and Blended Families

Ron Deal, M.MFT.

Tom Whiteman, Ph.D.

Training Modules

• Session 1: Divorce vs. Reconciliation: Counseling the Separated toward Resolution
• Session 2: Positive Co-Parenting: Helping Children through Divorce and the Forgiveness Process
• Session 3: A Tough Blend: Preparation for Remarriage and Pre-Stepfamily Counseling
• Session 4: Stepfamily Dynamics: Stages of Integration and Barriers to Developing New Attachments
• Session 5: Not Your Average Marriage Counseling: The Stepcouple Relationship and Parental Functioning
• Session 6: Parenting Between Homes: Navigating Attachment, Loss, and Loyalties

Summary

Some of the most difficult clients are those going through separation and divorce. The first half of this Intensive will focus on ways to therapeutically intervene with clients who are trying to make the ultimate decision about the future of their marriage; help them grieve the loss of their spouse; and better prepare them for a healthy, single-again lifestyle. Time tested biblical principles will be explored to help guide clients through this difficult process, as well as an overview on how to help children of divorce and encourage parents toward healthy co-parenting. Most divorced individuals remarry and form blended families. Despite optimism about “getting it right this time,” the stepcouple divorce rate remains alarming. The second half of this Intensive will explore key relational challenges leading to stepcouple distress and how Christian therapists can effectively treat the expanded stepfamily system including children. Biblical standards regarding divorce and remarriage, as well as ethical and multicultural considerations, will be addressed. In addition, data from the National Survey of Stepfamilies (over 50,000 couples) will be presented with implications for preventing divorce and strengthening stepfamilies in ministry settings. Throughout the training, case studies, group discussion, multimedia examples, and practical therapeutic methods will be provided.

Learning Objectives

Participants will:

1. Name and describe practical ways to help clients who are separated and having difficulty making the divorce vs. reconciliation decision and learn how to help clients set healthy boundaries with their estranged spouse and other family members
2. Identify the stages of grieving as they relate to the divorcing process, as well as identifying practical methods for guiding clients toward new, healthy relationships, restoring their relationships with God, themselves and others
3. Explore how children are affected by divorce and how parents can intervene in the lives of their children, recognize signs of healthy divorce recovery, and explore how to help clients toward forgiveness and a fulfilling, God-honoring, single again lifestyle
4. Discuss how to prepare their clients for dating, dating with children, and preparation for a potential new relationship, and understand how pre-stepfamily counseling is different from traditional premarital counseling
5. List numerous family process dynamics that are different in stepfamilies than in biological families, predictable stages of family integration, and the key barriers to developing attachments; identify practical therapeutic procedures in working with remarried couples and stepfamilies that differ from procedures with first families and experience the use of Emotionally Focused Therapy with remarried families
6. Identify the top predictors of step-couple health, identify how biological and stepparent roles impact both parenting and marital health in stepfamilies, and describe how attachment, loss, and loyalty issues impact parenting between homes

Intensive Trainers

Ron L. Deal, M.MFT., is President of Smart Stepfamilies (www.RonDeal.org) and Director of blended family ministries for FamilyLife®. He is a family ministry consultant and conducts marriage and family seminars around the country; he specializes in both marriage education and stepfamily enrichment. Ron is author of the bestselling book The Smart Stepfamily (and DVD curriculum), The Smart Stepdad, and Dating and the Single Parent, and coauthor of The Smart Stepmom and The Remarriage Checkup (with Dr. David Olson, based on the largest qualitative survey of stepcouples ever conducted). He is a licensed marriage and family therapist and has extensive experience training pastors, ministry leaders, and counselors. He has appeared on dozens of national and international radio and TV broadcasts including The 700 Club, Focus on the Family, FamilyLife Today, Life, Love, and Family, WGN-TV, Fox News, and ABC Nightline. Ron is considered a leading voice in stepfamily education, ministry, and preventing redivorce. He and his wife, Nan, have been married since 1986 and have three boys.

Thomas Whiteman, Ph.D. , is the former President of Fresh Start Seminars. In that role, he conducted seminars in churches throughout the country to more than 25,000 individuals going through separation and divorce. Additionally, Dr. Whiteman has written 13 books on divorce and related topics. One of his bestselling books, The Divorce Recovery Workbook, will be distributed to each participant as part of this workshop. Dr. Whiteman continues to work as a Licensed Psychologist in Pennsylvania and consults with mental health corporations along the East coast. He has appeared on numerous radio and TV shows, mostly about helping families going through divorce, and produced a Video Series with the AACC on Recovery From Divorce. Dr. Whiteman and his wife Lori, have been married since 1985 and have raised three children.